Desde sempre e para sempre Chapter 13

Desde sempre e para sempre

Chapter 13

Gael, at last, entered the room. It was the final few minutes of the match. Between getting his Aaji to go to bed after taking her medication, going through the paperwork John had marked urgent, determining the sensitivity and strategy of the Moscow project and fighting images of Naina lounging around everywhere, blabbering away to glory, Gael found himself extremely exhausted. There was a time where he yelled at her aloud to stop talking for a second or else he would take her right then and there. She had stopped talking only because he had realized that he had just yelled at a figment of his imagination. Threatened a figment of his imagination with sexual consequences to be more precise. 

The match had been on in the background all along and he had to assure Aaji that they would win and Leo would be the hero to get her to retire for the night. The brat was a handful! Fortunately, he didn't have to lie. He was so proud of Leo. He was going to win it.

The last few seconds ended in a penalty kick, a foul was committed by Argentina on Leo. As Leo hobbled to take the penalty kick, Gael stood frozen to his spot, everything forgotten. He could see the pain in Leo’s eyes. He was hurt. Leo signaled to the goalkeeper that he was ready. The goalkeeper reciprocated and both of them signaled to the referee who blew the whistle. Leo made the run-up. He was running straight and Gael smiled. He was known to be a right-footed shooter, however, only his brothers knew that he was just as good with his left foot. The goalkeeper fell for the trick and jumped to Leo’s right as Leo kicked the ball. The entire stadium including the goalkeeper knew even before the ball hit the net that it was a goal, a goal to his left…

The crowd had burst into the loudest cheer and some of the audience broke into the field. While Brazil had had the lead for the most part of the game, in the last few minutes Argentina had caught up, fortunately only after Gael had convinced Aaji to go to bed. She would not have been able to digest the tension. Leo, with his excellent penalty kick, had won the World Cup for Brazil. The crowd and his team engulfed him and Gael felt bad for him. This was going to hurt him more than the foul that had given him the penalty kick.

The cameras also showed a glimpse of Davi and Mãe entering the field. He smiled. This was much needed for the family during the sad time that was fast approaching. He felt bad for not being there with them but he had maintained that public distance from the family for a reason. That was precisely why he did not allow Davi and Leo to assume the Bourgeois surname. He had made a promise that he would shoulder the burden on his own and he would keep it or die trying…

He switched the TV off before “not being there with them” could hurt him more. He entered Aaji’s room to check on her and smiled to see her watching the game on mute.

She looked up and immediately switched the TV off. Gael pulled a chair next to her bed and sat down.

Gael: “You don’t listen to me.”

Aaji: “You don’t listen to me!”

They looked at each other and laughed.

Aaji: “Smart little boy! I thought that when he started the run-up with his right foot he was going to shoot right! And isn't he right-footed?”

Gael: “Yes he is. But that’s precisely why he is one of the best and won the World Cup for us.”

Aaji: “I am so proud of my boy! I wish I was there…”

Gael: “Well…”

Aaji: “I know! I know! I am the one who wanted to leave!”

Gael: “Don’t worry. They will join us in a day or two. Now, will you please go to bed?”

Aaji: “What about the accommodation? I am not happy here.”

Gael stood up: “Sure you are not.”

Aaji: “I am serious! I feel so isolated here! I feel like you have locked me up in a tower!”

Gael: “Please, we will talk about it tomorrow. GOOD NIGHT!”

He turned the lights off and left the room. As soon as he entered his bedroom and closed the door behind him, he saw Naina walk over to him in that gorgeous white saree. She got on her toe tips and wrapped her arms around his neck. She then leaned in and kissed him.

Naina: “Congratulations, Mr. Chan.”

He wrapped his arms around her and leaned forward for a kiss when he realized that she wasn't there.

He pulled his tie out harshly and threw it away. He then got on the balcony and let the sea breeze hit him. The Gateway of India was right in front of him and the moon shining brightly in the dark sky above. He leaned on the balustrade, his head in his hands and sighed.

How was he going to go on living like this?

Dadi: “Naina, you must be tired.”

Naina was on the balcony lost in her thoughts. She turned to face her Dadi who had just joined her on the balcony.

Naina: “I am tired but not sleepy.”

Dadi: “It must be the time difference.”

Naina: “Yes…”

Dadi: “Thank you soo much for the birthday cake, the party and the gifts! I was really surprised!”

Naina hugged her Dadi: “You’re welcome, Dadi. I am glad you had a good time.”

Dadi: “Naina, I am very old now. I don’t know how many more birthdays I…”

Naina: “DADI!”

Dadi: “Just hear me out…”

Naina: “NO!”

Dadi: “Accha! Okay! You are so stubborn! But I want you to make me a promise! Consider it my birthday gift.”

Naina: “I already gave you your birthday gift. You are never satisfied, are you?”

Dadi: “Nope! Only because you spoil me so much. Although...I am serious…”

Naina: “Okay! What would you like me to promise? Do you want me to get rid of this extra weight?”

Dadi: “You will never be serious! Naina, look at me.”

Naina looked at her Dadi as she held her hands in hers.

Dadi: “Naina, whenever I die and I am not saying I am going to die anytime soon, at least I hope not, but, Naina, I want you to promise that you will not scatter my ashes alone…”

Naina: “I don’t know why we are talking about this or why you would ask me to promise you something like this. I will not be alone. So many people love you and respect you…”

Dadi: “NAINA! STOP IT! You know what I mean and don’t pretend otherwise!”

Naina: “I have never said ‘no’ to marriage.”

Dadi: “But you are not doing anything about it.”

Naina: “I am waiting to fall in love. There is nothing wrong in that.”

Dadi: “No, there isn't  But love can happen after marriage too. It does not have to be before. Why don’t we look for some proposals? You are 28 years old!”

Naina: “So what if I am 28 years old!? Jaya is 28 too and she found someone.”

Dadi: “YOU found him for her. I am happy for her; I am but what about YOU? And you know how difficult it has been for us to find a boy for her. Once you are close to 30s, the boys are older and…Naina, you don’t understand! When will you start a family? You are running out of time! You girls wanted to focus on your studies and we let you. We never stopped you but Jaya at least is open to an arranged marriage. You are not. You say you are but when Lataji brings it up you don’t take her seriously!”

Naina: “If I don’t find one, I am capable of taking care of myself! I don’t need a man to grow old with. Gone are those days…”

Dadi: “I know you can take care of yourself! But I don’t want you to! You don't understand...”

Naina: “Even after Dadu left us; you turned out to be okay! You didn't need anyone!”

Dadi: “Only because I had you! I was not single by choice. Circumstances were such. You don't understand what it means...”

Naina: “Fine! Start looking for a boy for me then! Are you happy now?”

Dadi: “Do you mean it? Or are you just saying that out of spite?”

Naina: “Does it matter?”

Dadi: “Yes, it does! You know it does!”

Naina: “I know…I am sorry…I just don’t feel like myself. Dadi, start looking for me or whatever it is you need to do. I am going to bed. I guess I am sleepy after all...”

Dadi stopped her: “What about the promise?”

Naina: “I promise. Come what may, I will get married by the end of this year. Even if I have to force myself to fall in love later…”

Dadi: “Oh Naina, don’t say that!”

Naina: “We can’t have everything, Dadi. That’s what life has taught me and how dare I let myself forget that lesson…”

Naina left leaving her Dadi alone on the balcony.

That night Naina cried herself to sleep. The constant fear of ending up alone, or worse, ending up like her parents had been clawing at her for a long time now. She knew she was 28 years old and professionally at a stage she had envisioned for herself. However, on the personal front of her life, she knew she was lacking or incomplete and she didn't need her Dadi to point that out to her even if she only meant well. She had studied all the way up to a PhD and then finally applied for the Civil Services, cleared it in one shot and now she was a diplomat representing India at the UN! She knew it had its opportunity cost like everything else in life did. But then that had been more important to her, it still was and she did not regret it. Today, she was 28 years old and had just experienced her first kiss. How pathetic! One man and she had craved for more; she had craved for things that she had made peace with staying without…one man who had shown her what could have been. It wasn't precisely him, but what he represented that had her broken all over again.

Gael couldn't sleep. One girl had him questioning all his life decisions. The very ones he had made to protect his family and their honor. One girl who threatened everything! Who was she? Why did she have such an effect on him? Mumbai never promised good things for him. He hated this place; he hated it…everything bad in his life had happened to him in this god damned city. It suffocated him. It reminded him things he had wanted to forget. It made him relive things he had barely survived. Yet he was here again to part with someone who had taught him how to live.

Nothing good would ever come out of this place. And if she was a part of this place, nothing good could ever come out of it too. Especially, if the thought of her had him questioning… 

He reached for the bottle and drank himself to sleep.